How I Did It?
From a young age itself, I have this habit of imagining situations about myself from the future. Like, I would imagine myself in 10 or 15 years and see how I would feel if I keep doing what I am doing right now. As a 16-year-old kid clouded with dreams of IITs and impressive salary packages, I entered a coaching center. I did study a lot more than I ever did before and did a reasonably good job, in my opinion. I always struggled to express myself to others at that time. I took up writing to express my feelings in a written form.
I realized that when I am writing, I am happier than I did before. When I came to know that people could relate to my writings and can understand what kind of person I am from what I write, I felt seen. I felt content for the first time in a long time. But, even though I could see myself in a better and happy place if I had chosen that path, I was scared. And I took engineering because I had to answer destiny before it forces me into something more tragic. Destiny came knocked on my door, and I tried to ignore it until I couldn’t. And then, my college life has started.
I started off college with a very rough start and wasn’t satisfied with what I chose. I spent my nights studying, and I stopped writing for a long time. I knew I was unhappy. But the future I saw while focusing only on studies was a reasonably better job with a good salary. But on the other hand, the future was dull and boring because I left something that made me immensely happy when I did it. Along the path, I sacrificed even human connections to be more engaged in my studies. I didn’t speak with many, but I made a few connections that are now long gone.
I tried to see my future again, and this time, I was lonely and exhausted. I had a great career but no one to along to celebrate it. We all have only one resource in common, and that is time. It all comes down to what you prioritize for each day. I’ve prioritized my studies over my passion and the people I’ve made connections. By the time I realized it, it was late. I had to start over. I made the same mistake a lot of others do too.
"Don’t put all eggs in one basket."
I knew I had to redesign my schedule. Now, I spent a little more time with my friends, and I spent some time writing poems and muses before sleeping. And it felt great. I felt like this is the perfect structure for my everyday life. Weeks passed by, and I felt worn out with my studies and couldn’t write a word for a poem. I believed that I could cheat my mind to be more energetic and write. And I did, I used to drink a lot of caffeine and eat fast food. I used to spend much less time taking care of myself.
Although I knew I can write well now and can still study better, I saw myself in the future, obese, unable to breathe, and mentally stressed. I got scared again. I had to sacrifice my time to help myself stay in a healthy condition. I started spending my time equally on my career, spending time with the person I love, and keep a good healthy lifestyle.